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In his stimulating paper, "Chatting Is Not Cheating," John Portmann defends online lust and characterizes about sex; he maintains that such talking is more similar to flirting than to having a sexual affair.In reality, though, the issue of online cheating is more complex—especially when it concerns sexual activities involving actual interaction with other individuals.As one woman in a committed relationship remarks about her online sexual affairs: "I've had this discussion with my boyfriend and we both agree that as long as it's not with the same person more than twice, it is really masturbation.It's like reading an erotic story and masturbating to it.Consider the following statement from a 41-year-old married man (all citations are from to cheat—something that may even add spice to their offline relationship.These people believe that if they do not even know the real name of their cybermate—and never actually see them—their affair cannot be regarded as from a moral point of view; it's no different from reading a novel or other form of entertainment.
Many of them believe cybersex to be similar to pornography—an extension of fantasy that actually helps to keep them from physical affairs with other people.
The fact that most of these affairs are concealed from offline spouses is indicative of the possible harm.
Consider this reaction: Just as casual sex is not necessarily inherently harmful, neither are online affairs.
In some circumstances, cybersex may in fact help a person through a rough period in an offline, loving relationship.
In such situations, cybersex may even be advisable—but still regarded as cheating.I think, however, if you do it with the same person more than once there is a risk of getting attached to them." However, the above types of limitations are extremely difficult to follow, as online boundaries are less constant and rigid.